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Worry Wart: I Can’t Do Anything, I’m too Busy Worrying About It

Started by Nathalie Lussier · 9 months ago

Photo by John Stewart

“Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.“


Worry keeps you up at night. It nibbles at you, while you go about your life, and it makes you lose focus on the big pi ... Continue reading »

30 comments

  • Worrying is a useless emotion. It paints dark images of what could be. And almost always, those images are darker than the reality of the situation.


    The kicker is: we only discover that if we push forward despite the worry. If we replace the worry with intelligent planning and action -- we will accomplish things that are important to us, and we will have cause to be proud of ourselves.



    So when we find ourselves worrying about what could happen if... let's immediately replace that with some quick risk management, directional focus, and action steps. This simple formula has enough power to totally change our life. Why then do we find it so difficult to break the habit of worry?



    John
  • It's so true that breaking the worry habit can help us change our lives! I love your metaphor that worry paints images darker than they are. It's very visual and helps us understand that we are the one painting our reality, so why chose to make it darker than it really is?


    As usual, great advice John! :)
  • Wonder a worrywart is and if you truly are one?


    The job of worry is to anticipate danger before it arises and identify possible perils, to come up with ways to lessen the risks, and to rehearse what you plan to do. Worrywarts get stuck in identifying danger as they immerse themselves in the dread associated with the threat, which may be real or, more likely, imagined. They spin out an endless loop of melodrama, blowing everything out of proportion. "What if I have a heart attack?" "What if there is an earthquake?" "What if someone breaks in when I'm asleep?"

    While worrywarts insist worrying is helpful, little is solved. Stuck in thinking ruts, they stop living in the here and now--the present moment. Worrywarting is torment--a kind of self-imposed purgatory that makes you feel bad, stresses you out, and wastes precious moments of your life.

    Worse yet, worry begets more worry, setting into motion a vicious circle of frightening thoughts and anxious response. It is self-perpetuating, pushing into greater anxiety and more worry. Allowed to continue unchecked, chronic worry can evolve into panic attacks and, in extreme cases, agoraphobia, which is a paralyzing fear of having a panic attack, especially in public. It can be so severe that, in the worst cases, the sufferer can't leave home.

    For how to stop worrywarting and start worry smart, visit my site.
  • Just wanted to say that's it's nice to see so many posts lately. You do good work.
  • Hi Natalie - I really like this articles. It covers a lot of angles and I think it really gets to the bottom of things, so would be really helpful to people. I tend to try to notice when I am worrying, and use a physical approach to the feelings and try to take some action if i can to resolve the problem.


    And thanks for the link!
  • Nice article. What especially was useful for me was the ending, about how to deal with worry. Normally, I don't let worry get the best of me. However, I have a meeting coming up mid next week. And I'm not really all the comfortable with how it's going to go. I've been putting off planning for it. And, instead I've been worrying about the outcome. What you said here is what I needed to hear. In my case, I just need to take action. So, that is my task for tomorrow. And, then I can put worry to bed...


    And, thanks for the mention up above - I really appreciate it!
  • When I begin to worry, I typically tell myself "Statistically everything will be fine". I used this mantra to get through two pregnancies and it seems to calm me down every time.
  • Nice post! Wish your trip to China is a very pleasant trip, in advance! I used to worry about lots of things in life until I have problem sleeping. I couldn't get to sleep even though I was exhausted. My health was affected badly. Later I learned to overcome my worries by being positive at all time. I go to gym now and then to release and replace with new energy. Being with children most of the time also help me a lot as they make me laugh and relax. Laughter is the best medicine. Positivism brings positivity in life!
  • One time I was a stockbroker on Wall Street and I had this grandmotherly client whom I adored (vice versa). While there, I worked hard to do right by my clients.


    One day I received a threatening legal letter from this woman, scaring the living daylights out of me. My mind immediately bombarded me with useless worry about possibly losing my job (I didn't), losing my reputation (I didn't), etc. I lost sleep, looked like a zombie and lost weight becuase I couldn't eat.



    I was asked to write a letter in response for the legal team at the firm I was working for. The moment I sat down and gathered all the facts, my worry went away because I was "taking action" and doing something about it.



    It was a great lesson - worry takes away energy needed for other things and it's usually about things that won't happen anyway.
  • Thank you for stopping by Dr. Potter. Your site has a wealth of information about worrying. I will be taking a closer look at it!
  • Thank you Writer Dad. Blush. :)
  • I like the idea of using a physical approach. It takes worry out of our heads for a moment.
  • I'm glad the article was timely for your meeting. Action really does work! :)
  • I love the idea of using statistics, and especially for a pregnancy! I will keep this idea for when my time to start a family comes. ;)
  • Thank you Rosabel. :) I think spending time with children helps a lot too. They just have a more relaxed outlook on life, in general, and they have laughter as a built-in device. ;)
  • Thank you for sharing your story Stephen. I've never received a legal letter like that, but I've had situations where freaking out led nowhere, and sitting down to figure things out worked wonders.


    I your experience shows that what we worry about is a lot less likely to happen, especially if we take action. :)
  • I found your post to be quite interesting, its true most people make a mountain out of a molehill. But I have always lived by two simple rules that works every time.


    1. Chance favors the prepared mind!

    2. Be part of the solution not the problem.
  • This is crap. I worry because my husband has cancer, my parents are sick, I'm losing my house to foreclosure, and after two degrees and wasted money, I still can't start my career. I worry because if I didn't i would completely give up and then I would be dead. I do not feel in control, I know somthing is wrong, and have tried a thousand new ways to tackle problems. The only true way to escape worry is to embrace change, which is something we all fear in some degree.
  • I've decided to either accept my problems or take action against them. No longer will I spend time worrying about them.


    Great post!



    Cheers,

    Glen
  • I worry about bills 24/7. I work 40 hours a week and I would love to work two jobs - but since my rent is based on my income - if I make more I gotta pay more. It's kind of a catch 22, ya know?
    I have even have caused erosion's in my stomach from excessive worry. It's been a bit better, but it's hard to not "stress" about things!
  • I love both of those rules. :) I especially like the idea of being a prepared mind. Thanks for stopping by!
  • I think you have the answer in your own comment: embrace change. It's something we are all afraid of, but accepting change is part of being courageous. We are all on this planet to learn something. I'm truly sorry to hear about your husband, parents, home, and career. I hope that you will find your own way to make it through, and live your life as best as you can with what you were handed, yet remember that the point of power is in the present.


    I recommend Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life". You can probably find it at your library.



    Sincerely,

    Nathalie
  • Thanks for stopping by Glen. I am glad you liked it, have a great day! :)
  • I'm not sure which type of rent asks you to pay more if you make more, but I'm assuming it's only a percentage of your income and not the whole thing?


    I've found that being still and silent for at least 5 minutes (sit in bed before you fall asleep) really does wonders to help with stomach issues and stress.
  • Hi, Natalie,


    Agreed with this words; “Become aware of your thoughts and feelings.”



    Most of our worries come from those feelings where we don’t put reasonable thoughts.



    It’s idle mind that creates the worries. That’s why, I do believe to do anything what I enjoy than just sitting idle.



    Edmund Vance Cooke was right who wrote:



    Don't fight with the pillow, but lay down your head

    And kick every worriment out of the bed.



    Cheers,

    Roy
  • I often struggle with this problem of worrying too much. In fact it's a major source of tension between me and my girlfriend. She's always saying that I'm a negative thinker. I always think of the worse case scenario. I think I get the trait from my mom. :)


    Anyways, I am working on looking more into the positive side of things.
  • Thanks for stopping by Roy! I loved your quote. :)
  • So, my wife told me to read this blog to, "get in touch with my feminine side." Whatever. I have to say, though, that you little ladies have done a passable job here in the Internet with your little ideas and such. Is there a recipe section?
  • This artical is a very posative way to help people who worry know that they are not the only one's and that there are ways to help to control this problem that can easily take over your life. These steps seem promising and can hopefully help people overcome all of their fears and worries.
  • I wish to wish all pregnant women of good mood, easy pregnancy and natural sorts!
    Good luck also are happy! Give birth easily and independently! Let not doctors give birth for you, and you!
    Also adjust itself on chest feeding of the kid! Read the necessary information!
    Be, lovely pregnant mums and expecting posterities of the daddy, are healthy and wise!

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