39 comments

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  JohnRocheleau

  9 months ago

  I know first-hand how important self-esteem is in success. And that means, success of any kind. If your self-esteem is damaged, like mine has been at times in my life, all of your efforts towards success will be wasted.
  
  First, raise your self-esteem to where it should rightfully be, then a natural success can follow. Prioritize self-esteem.
  
  John
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  Vered - MomGrind

  9 months ago

  I agree that comparing ourselves to others is a huge mistake. There will always be someone who is "better" so what's the point? Thank you very much for the link love.
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  Lynn Crymble

  9 months ago

  This is so awesome Nathalie! It is unfortunate that one of the things we lose from childhood is self-esteem - perhaps this is really what people see when they speak of a loss of innocence as well. When we no longer see the world with untainted eyes, we start to also see why we might not measure up (in our minds) to what's out there.
  
  I do disagree with one small point you made:
  "But developing self-esteem is harder than you might imagine, because it means battling your inner demons."
  It's definitely one of the toughest things to do but it's not about "battling your inner demons", it's about acknowledging your fears (shout out to Havi Brooks on this from TheFluentSelf.com). There's something much more loving and friendly about letting our fears come through, and trying to figure out what they have to tell us.
  Once we do that, we can get onto loving ourselves unconditionally.
  
  About 3 months ago, I stopped buying women's magazines (I used to buy 1 or 2 a month) and that small change alone has been a great step toward increasing my self-esteem. So, I wholeheartedly support your advice on removing yourself from advertising and minimizing unrealistic comparisons to others.
  
  Thanks for your thoughtful words!
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Thanks for your great comment Lynn. I think it's all a matter of perspective. I generally don't like waging a war on anything (war on terrorism, war on AIDS, etc) so your explanation sounds a lot better than mine! ;) I have been a fan of Havi's for a short while now, but I think I will need to take a closer look at her materials.
  
  Thank you for sharing your experiences with the women's magazines, too.
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  Shonika Proctor

  9 months ago

  So very true! I work with youth & teen entrepreneurs and the sad reality is those feelings of rejection and not being loved or listened to seem to be the norm and not the exception these days.
  
  That is why I encourage everyone in my network to be a mentor and a mentee so that there will be a continuous cycle of support and encouragement from both the older and younger generation to whom you are connected. If you don't have time to mentor, just try to be a sounding board for any young person in your life- whether they are a friend, a stranger at the bus stop, a neighbor, a relative or your own child/grandchild. It makes a powerful difference!
  
  http://www.teenentrepreneurblog.com
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Thanks for sharing your experience with young entrepreneurs Shonika. I mentored younger girls at my University, and it was very rewarding.
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  Shamelle - TheEnhanceLife

  9 months ago

  Self Esteem is an attribute that is alluring, attractive, valuable, desirable and contagious. Most everyone aspires to greater levels of it, even if they feel confident most of the time. It is a trait that will help us create greater results for ourselves and when leading others.
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Absolutely! Thanks for your supportive comment Shamelle. :)
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  Hani

  9 months ago

  Excellent post! On the surface, helping yourself before helping others may appear selfish, when really it is not.
  
  I often cite a telling example regarding this thought, which is that in an emergency situation on an airplane, you are instructed to help yourself with the oxygen mask first, before helping others -- a child can not help himself without an able parent. Without helping oneself, one would lose the ability to help dependents. Being in the best mental and physical health allows for a strong shoulder of support and quality of help to friends and family.
  
  You make many important points here (and it's reassuring to read from someone who lives a very unconventional lifestyle!); I'll be sure to share this post with many others.
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Thank you for joining in the conversation Hani. I love your example of putting the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. It just makes so much sense! :)
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  Jan Roos

  9 months ago

  Excellent post, everything is so true.
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Thank you Jan! ;)
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  Tycoon Dreamer

  9 months ago

  It helps to have people around you who appreciate you and what you do. That's a major boost in self-esteem. In fact, one of the laws of building wealth is to shut out naysayers and negative people from your life and choose the ones who have a positive outlook.
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  You're absolutely right Tycoon Dreamer. Thanks for joining in, your insights are always appreciated. :)
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  Homemaker Barbi (Danelle Ice)

  9 months ago

  It's a very true point about the impact advertising can have on our viewpoint of "not being enough" as people without things which can be purchased.
  
  Homemaker Barbi (Danelle Ice)
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  For sure! Thanks for stopping by and commenting Barbi. :)
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  Maya

  9 months ago

  Over the years I have realized there are some things that are very essential to maintaining or increasing my self esteem when I have issues - such as exercising ...and do my best to keep time out for those things ...
  Yes, self esteem is critical, isn't it? Forget success, I cannot even get through the days when I have issues with my self esteem!
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Absolutely. I think exercising and taking care of ourselves is a great way to maintain our self-esteem.
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  Rosabel

  9 months ago

  Great post! I read Louise Hay's book and it gives me a great impact. I'm still practicing the steps to improve my self-esteem and be positive most of the time. For my surprise, I do change and improve a lot. I have lots to overcome and practice in order to build a strong self-esteem. As you mentioned, people around you are important to give a positive influence. Sometimes the closest to us will be the one that keep trying to break our confidence and self-esteem. I'm still moving forward, maybe I just need to eliminate this person out of my live if the situation persists.
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Thanks for sharing your experiences Rosabel. I think Louise Hay's book is really useful
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  Stacey / Create a Balance

  9 months ago

  I love this post. I have been doing a lot of writing and research about "practicing being selfish". I think self nurturing and self nourishing is linked to self esteem. For me, self esteem lets me be bold and daring. It helps me enjoy the adventurous journey of life. Thanks for writing about such an important topic!!
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Stacey, I love that you've been looking into "being selfish". I think it's one of those things we think are bad, but end up being good for ourselves and for others.
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  Venkat

  9 months ago

  LoL, c'mon a little dose of irony never hurt anyone. Not even billionaire wannabes. You make it sound like the loss of self-esteem of childhood is a bad thing that you need to blame others for (advertisers??? come ON!). Nope. It is the valuable stripping away of the fake thing, and the preparation for earning of the real thing. Childhood self-esteem is like a doll-house. You can't actually live in it as an adult.
  
  To paraphrase Oliver Wendell Holmes (who said this about simplicity rather than self-esteem): "I would not give a farthing for the self-esteem on this side of complexity, but my life for the self-esteem on the other side of complexity." Childhood self-esteem is based on the self-absorption, self-centeredness and (let's face it) me-me-me selfishness of children that has not yet run into reality. It is self-esteem grounded in nothing.
  
  The worthwhile self-esteem of adulthood is the growing, cumulative reward that comes out of the virtuous cycle of working and engaging the world in positive ways. Self-esteem forged through engagement of the world is the only real kind. Self-esteem created through self-talk, daily Stuart-Smalley "affirmations" and the like is ultimately hollow. For the real thing you have to fight, act in the face of doubt and uncertainty and create real change in yourself and the world.
  
  In other words real self-esteem is earned, not an intrinsic part of the human condition that is somehow "lost" through engagement with a cruel world. Not everyone can or even SHOULD have self-esteem. The stuff everyone CAN have is self-delusion, toys and self-deception.
  
  Carpe Diem! Will to Power! Read some Nietzche!
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Thank you for sharing your opinions with us Venkat. Obviously we have different views of the world, and that makes this planet a very interesting place. Do stop by again to see if there's anything else that might appeal more to your current world-view.
  
  Have a great day!
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  zaellen

  9 months ago

  I love this post...gonna give some link love in my next post (ambitious to say today so could be tomorrow).
  
  Do you know my new favorite Natasha Bedingfield song, freckles? Some of the lyrics go like this..."because a face full of freckles is like a sky without a star. Why waste a second not loving who you are? Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, they show your personality in your heart, reflecting who you are." (I think I got the words right). I started singing it to my daughter every morning when I'm waking her up...
  
  It's painful to think about all of the external forces that shape our self esteem from a young age. If we're lucky, we can regain some of what is lost and continue to evolve and feel good about following our passions and defining for ourselves what being successful means personally.
  
  Thanks so much for this. A light in my day! And encouragement that I am on the right path. Now, to go check out Louise Hays book...
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Thank you so much Zaellen! The song you mentioned sounds so sweet, I will need to keep an eye out for it. :) I'm glad this post inspired you, I am heading over to your site now!
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  JenConsalvo

  9 months ago

  Great article and blog Nathalie. Just posted an excerpt from your bio on my own site as your words captured so much of what I was feeling. You're a very thoughtful and thought-provoking writer. Looking forward to reading more.
  
  I quoted you here: http://bodysoulconnect.com/post/53241612/inspir...
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  JenConsalvo

  9 months ago

  ok, and that ugly non-smiley face inspired me to create a profile on your comments system ;) cheers! Jen
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  Nathalie Lussier

  9 months ago

  Thank you so much Jen! I am glad you enjoyed the article. Your comments mean so much to me. I've checked out your site, and will be returning shortly. Thanks so much, have a great day Jen!
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  Seamus Anthony

  9 months ago

  Thank for this. Without at all taking away from the worth of your lovely article - I do find it funny how many missing "secret" ingredients there are to success - I have one of my own here - http://curlyslaw.com/ - so it's not a criticism. Maybe we should put them all together and make a big hearty Success Stew ;-)
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  Carla

  9 months ago

  Its only been a few months since I started working on my self-esteem. I either read or heard a phrase that said something like ‘you are how you feel’ and that made an impact on my thinking and how I should view myself.
  
  Comparing myself to others is a huge weakness of mine and something I really need to work on.
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  myln

  8 months ago

  Low self-esteem is dangerous for our mental and physical health. When feelings of low self-esteem are accompanied by negative emotions such as anxiety, depression and stress then this fatal combination is very bad for our health. On the contrary high levels of self-esteem strengthens the mental and physical health.
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  thebaldchemist

  7 months ago

  Success is doing what you want when you want. It has nothing to do with spiritual encounters just to get as much and give as much joy as possible evreyday.
  Keep happy. The Baldchemist
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  noni benefits

  6 months ago

  Excellent saying and this true....Love yourself, for if you don’t, how can you expect anybody else to love you?... Thanks for good post.
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  Self Help Audio Books

  5 months ago

  I completely agree with almost everything you write here.
  
  Selfesteem is the basis on which we must build our life.
  
  We must seek it everywhere!
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  doreen awiti

  4 months ago

  "Setting small goals that you can easily attain will help you build your self-esteem." True True True ....
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  Ken

  2 months ago

  Excellent Blog and great posts, I will be a regular now. I have to agree that one you raise the self-esteem the success is a natural progression.
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  Nathalie Lussier

  2 months ago

  Glad to hear it Ken! Absolutely, I'm happy we're both on the self-esteem path to success. :)
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  Rhycel

  1 month ago

  Success in anything you do and self-esteem does come hand in hand. Until you get your self esteem up and at least believe in yourself then success will shy away from you. [ U R L = " h t t p : / / i-justblog.com " ] : ) [/url]
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