14 comments

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  John Rocheleau - Zen-Moments

  11 months ago

  I like the questions where you ask us to transpose the word "money" for "husband."
  
  Well, I guess you are speaking only to women then, otherwise you would have used the word "spouse," but still, your point is made -- and it is a good one.
  
  John
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  Nathalie Lussier

  11 months ago

  @John: In my first draft I used the word spouse. I was really torn about putting a specific gender, and I may change my stance in the future, since it seems my readership is pretty evenly divided. Thank you for the feedback, it will be taken into consideration in the future. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the questions though!
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  tvo

  11 months ago

  I wish I was reading blogs like this a few years ago. I wouldnt be in the shit I am now, owing more than $1,200,000 to friends, family and banks. I would know all the right steps, I would get motivated and inspired... Now all I have left is a site called www.savemefromshit.com, which is more an example of what to avoid in life, rather than a cry for help...
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  Lindsay

  11 months ago

  Whew, lots here to ponder.
  
  Thanks to my profitable websites and blogs, I'm pretty well off, and I don't have a husband, so I'll take a pass on responding there, but I definitely agree that how you treat money affects how much you have and your relationship with it.
  
  So many people see money as a necessary evil and something that's in restricted supply, but if you see it as something that's abundant and can come from many sources, then it's stops being so elusive.
  
  One of the big things I've learned along the way is that a lot of us think we want a ton of money when what we really want is the freedom to go where we please when we please. That can be obtained without being a billionaire, or even a millionaire. :)
  
  Recommended reading for your visitors:
  
  "The Magic of THinking Big"
  "The 4 Hour Work Week"
  
  Take care!
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  Philip Evans

  11 months ago

  Your article is fascinating and look forward to the next two. I teach teenagers how to use money properly and take what I call an holistic approach, spending as much time on their relationship to money as technical skill. Your concept of ‘loving money’ jarred, especially as a parallel to a ‘loving equal spouse’ (rather than, say, a pet or a good cup of coffee), but it very well points out where many go wrong. (Incidentally, I tried to subscribe a couple of times but kept getting the message that I hadn’t completed my e-mail address. But I had.)
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  Nathalie Lussier

  11 months ago

  @tvo: I'm sorry to hear about your debt. Maybe a few of the questions here might give you some clues as to how to mend your situation? Don't give up all hope, yet!
  
  @Lindsay: You seem to have your relationship with money in good order, congrats! I definitely agree that most people think they want money but what they want is freedom and security, or just doing fun things. Thanks for joining in the discussion!
  
  @Philip Evans: Yes, the idea of loving money is really hard to fathom. That's why it works so well to see how we treat money in strange ways sometimes. I apologize about the subscription form, it has now been fixed and you should be able to subscribe! Thank you for sharing your views, I appreciate it.
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  Avani-Mehta

  11 months ago

  Wow! This is a great article. I am looking forward for the next two.
  
  I hope you do cover the effect of money scarcity-abundance thinking - poor thinking / rich thinking about money. It's a concept I read in Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
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  Nathalie Lussier

  11 months ago

  @Avani: Thank you. I definitely intend to touch on the abundance/scarcity way of seeing money. It plays a big role in the money relationship!
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  Tom Volkar / Delightful Work

  11 months ago

  "Get to know the other person. Compliment him, spend time getting to know him, and then use your knowledge to show him you like him."
  
  I like this practical advice on how to improve your relationship with money. Spending time with your money will lead to getting comfortable with it. Getting comfortable will will take the negative emotional charge out of it.
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  Ellen Wilson

  10 months ago

  Hi Nathalie,
  
  This is an excellent article. I really like your relationship analogies and then the substituting money instead of husband part.
  
  I have a strained relationship to money right now. My husband and I are in the process of paying off some of our debts. I hope to have one debt cleared up in two years.
  
  But before the debt I had a carefree spend the money approach. And now I get to pay! It's not comfortable, but it must be done.
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  Nathalie Lussier

  10 months ago

  @Tom: I agree, getting to know your money is a helpful way to get comfortable managing it.
  
  @Ellen: I wish you a fast recovery from debt, I know how hard it can be to pay it down. I know you can do it!
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  Marelisa

  10 months ago

  It always amazes me how people think that you can't be spiritual and care about others if you think that money is great and you want to have lots of it. I was just researching happiness for a few articles that I was writing on the subject and studies have shown that after your basic needs are met (after you earn about $50,000.00) money really doesn't have such a huge impact on happiness. However, if you get the keys to happiness down (meaning, engagement, giving to others, and so on) money can help you add even more pleasure to your life, and pleasure is one of the keys to happiness, (even if there are several other elements).
  
  Comparing your relationship with money to a marriage is an excellent way to look at it.
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  Robin

  10 months ago

  Hi Nathalie - I really like what you are saying here - what a good way of putting it! The first book I ever read about money was called "money is my friend" - again… the emphasis on the relationship!
  
  I think people who are really confident they can attract money are not greedy or bullies (i.e. evil) because they know they can replace their money if they lose it (lots of wealthy people still don't have that confidence, though, unfortunately)
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  Nathalie Lussier

  10 months ago

  @Marelisa: Thanks for sharing, I love how more and more people are learning that money can help you grow beyond your "small self." There's even a book called "money CAN buy happiness", which is pretty cool.
  
  @Robin: I will have to check out the "money is my friend" book, it sounds good. :) I agree, knowing that there will be more money to replace spent/lost/etc money is the way to keep your balance.
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